Second Book of Catholic Jokes

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Author: Deacon Tom Sherdian

Publisher: ACTA Publications

ISBN: 0879466103

Category: Religion

Page: 98

View: 9896

In this follow up to the bestselling Book of Catholic Jokes, Tom Sheridan again offers a hilarious collection of clean and well-intentioned jokes designed to spark smiles, laughter, and maybe even a little introspection on the human condition. With a foreword by Father Paul Boudreau, The Second of Book of Catholic Jokes promises to show that faith can be--and should be--fun. SAMPLE JOKEIt was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, little Jonnie stayed home with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds. Little Jonnie asked them what they were for. "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his father told him."Wouldn't you know it," little Jonnie fumed, "the one Sunday I don't go and he shows up."

Third Book of Catholic Jokes

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Author: Deacon Tom Sherdian

Publisher: ACTA Publications

ISBN: 0879466111

Category: Religion

Page: 93

View: 6620

As Pope Benedict XVI has said, "A writer once said that angels can fly because they don't take themselves too seriously. Maybe we could also fly a bit if we didn't think we were so important." Imagine the pontiff, now in his eighties and undoubtedly feeling the pains of growing older himself, cracking a joke about it to one of the cardinals in the Vatican. So must every married couple do as they go about the business of maintaining a loving, committed relationship...but discover that they still get on each other's nerves occasionally.Here is The Third Book of Catholic Jokes, chosen and told by Deacon Tom Sheridan, the former editor of The Catholic New World, the newspaper of the Archdiocese of Chicago. He is now retired and living with his wife in Florida. The book also features a Foreword by Father James Martin, SJ, the culture editor of America magazine and the author of Between Heaven and Mirth: Why Joy, Humor and Laughter Are at the Heart of the Spiritual Life.This edition of this popular series of books focuses on the universal--and often hilarious--human experience of relating to one another and growing old together. These stories, jokes, lists, and one-liners are mostly about lay people and are told from a "Catholic" (that is, Roman Catholic) or a "catholic" (that is, universal and about everyone) perspective. They are "clean" and not "mean" and are certainly not intended to offend anyone of any faith or situation in life. But if we can't make fun of ourselves about the difficulties of growing older or trying to maintain our most intimate relationships over a lifetime, then how can we ever expect to "fly a bit"?

Book of Catholic Jokes

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Author: Deacon Tom Sherdian

Publisher: ACTA Publications

ISBN: 087946609X

Category: Religion

Page: 99

View: 7201

Religion is far too important to be taken seriously all the time--so says author Tom Sheridan, who in The Book of Catholic Jokes invites readers to laugh along with him and remember that faith can be--and should be--fun. Sheridan begins by discussing the importance of laughter and the relationship of humor to religion before launching into hilarious jokes. After all, Jesus said, "Unless you become like children, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven."

The Importance of Being Funny

Why We Need More Jokes in Our Lives

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Author: Al Gini

Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield

ISBN: 1442281774

Category: Humor

Page: 168

View: 488

When E. B. White said “analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog; few people are interested and the frog dies,” he hadn’t seen Al Gini’s hilarious, incisive, and informative take on jokes, joke-telling, and the jokers who tell jokes. For Gini, humor is more than just foolish fun: it serves as a safety valve for dealing with reality that gives us the courage to endure that which we cannot understand or avoid. Not everyone tells jokes. Not everyone gets a joke, even a good one. But, Gini argues, joke-telling can act as both a sword and a shield to defend us from reality. As the late, great stand-up comic Joan Rivers put it: ‘If you can laugh at it, you can live with it!’ This book is for anyone who enjoys a good laugh, but also wants to know why.

The Best Ever Book of Norwegian Jokes

Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Author: Mark Geoffrey Young

Publisher: CreateSpace

ISBN: 9781469916200

Category: Humor

Page: 106

View: 3935

If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Irish, Belgian, Norwegian, an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Norwegian jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Norwegian Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Norwegian Jokes is so unoriginal; it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Norwegian joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Norwegian jokes; you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Norwegians wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Norwegian and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Norwegian brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Norwegian who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Norwegians laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it.

The Best Ever Book of Portuguese Jokes

Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Author: Mark Geoffrey Young

Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub

ISBN: 9781479359134

Category: Humor

Page: 106

View: 7650

If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Libyan, Catholic, Irish, Mexican, Polish, Belgian, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Portuguese jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Portuguese Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Portuguese Jokes is so unoriginal; it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Portuguese joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Portuguese jokes; you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Portuguese citizens wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Portuguese citizen and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Portuguese citizen brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Portuguese citizen who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Portuguese citizens laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

The Best Ever Book of Fencing Jokes

Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Author: Mark Geoffrey Young

Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub

ISBN: 9781478201014

Category: Humor

Page: 106

View: 3103

If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Fencing jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Fencing Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Fencing Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Fencing joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Fencing jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Fencers wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Fencer and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Fencer brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Fencer who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Fencers laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

The Best Ever Book of Ping Pong Jokes

Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Author: Mark Geoffrey Young

Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub

ISBN: 9781478120193

Category: Humor

Page: 106

View: 388

If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Ping Pong jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Ping Pong Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Ping Pong Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Ping Pong joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Ping Pong jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Ping Pong Players wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Ping Pong Player and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Ping Pong Player brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Ping Pong Player who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Ping Pong Players laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

The Best Ever Book of Funeral Director Jokes

Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Author: Mark Geoffrey Young

Publisher: CreateSpace

ISBN: 9781477609453

Category: Humor

Page: 106

View: 8488

If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Funeral Director jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Funeral Director Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Funeral Director Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Funeral Director joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Funeral Director jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Funeral Directors wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Funeral Director and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Funeral Director brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Funeral Director who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Funeral Directors laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Holy Goals for Body and Soul

Eight Steps to Connect Sports with God and Faith

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Author: Thomas John Paprocki

Publisher: Ave Maria Press

ISBN: 1594713677

Category: Religion

Page: 160

View: 9791

Hockey-playing Catholic bishop Thomas J. Paprocki has a message for teens and young adults: athletics and fitness provide daily ways to connect with God. Bishop Paprocki weaves his unique personal story with eight athletic topics and connects them with a path to wholeness. Holy Goals for Body and Soul: Eight Steps to Connect Sports with God and Faith links lessons from the world of sports and fitness—especially the experiences of a Catholic bishop who plays ice hockey—with concrete ways to live a holy life. In Bishop Paprocki’s view, everyone is called to holiness, which can be encountered anywhere: “I encounter holiness while training for a marathon. I encounter holiness during a workout at the health club.” He explores eight sports-related topics to help the reader navigate a life of holiness: Fear Frustration Failure Fortitude Faith Friendship Family Fun