Search results for: the-funniest-football-joke-book-ever

The Funniest Football Joke Book Ever

Author : Carl McInerney
File Size : 28.64 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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What did the ref say to the chicken who tripped a defender? Fowl Why was the footballer upset on his birthday? He got a red card These and many more howlers to make you laugh even if we lose the Cup!!!

The Ultimate Football Joke Book

Author : Egmont Publishing UK
File Size : 28.7 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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Why was the pitch soaking wet? Because the midfielders dribbled all over it. Which Egyptian star gobbles strawberries, apples, grapes and oranges? Fruit Salah. What happens if you mix an England striker with strong winds? You get a Hurry-Kane. The Ultimate Football Joke Book is the funniest joke book EVER. Get ready to laugh your boots off with over 200 premier puns, gags and quips featuring all your favourite football players, clubs and grounds. With hilarious black and white illustrations throughout for extra LOL's. For football fans aged 7+

The Little Book of Football Jokes

Author : Joe King
File Size : 63.51 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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What did the ref say to the chicken who tripped a defender? Fowl! Why was the footballer upset on his birthday? He got a red card! These and many more howlers to make you laugh no matter how your team is doing!

The Biggest Funniest Wackiest Grossest Joke Book Ever

Author : Editors of Portable Press
File Size : 41.27 MB
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Your friends and family will be laughing—and groaning—each time you send one of these zingers their way! Every kid’s joke-abulary will skyrocket with The Biggest, Funniest, Wackiest, Grossest Joke Book Ever! We’ve combined our four best-selling joke books into this special hardcover collection. Hundreds of knock-knock jokes, one-liners, puns, and other groaners make this a must-have for any aspiring class clown. Family jokes, animal jokes, and gross-out jokes for every occasion are waiting for you in this book of silliness!

The Funniest Joke Book Ever

Author : Bathroom Readers' Institute
File Size : 66.72 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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Giggles, groans, and belly laughs, packed on every page. Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers—all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You'll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.

The Funniest Spooky Joke Book Ever

Author : Joe King
File Size : 32.96 MB
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What happens if you see twin witches? You won't be able to tell which witch is witch What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie? You can't fool me, I can see right through you Will: 'Mum, all the children make fun of me.' Mum: 'What do they say?' Will: 'They say I'm a werewolf. Is it true?' Mum: 'Of course not. Now comb your face and get ready for supper.' These and many more howlers to make you laugh your head off (in most cases not literally).

The Funniest Grossest Joke Book Ever

Author : Editors of Portable Press
File Size : 30.22 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Make your friends giggle, guffaw, and groan with disgust at the funniest and grossest jokes ever! It's a 2-for-1 of epic proportions—this book combines our two bestselling kids' joke books! Do you know a kid who likes Q&A jokes, knock-knocks, puns, riddles, or one-liners? Of course you do! This collection has all that and more—over 900 jokes, actually. Perfect for boys or girls, it spans all kid-friendly topics, including fairy tales, animals, monsters, and disgusting jokes that'll make them (and you) want to barf. They'll laugh out loud at zingers like: Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch? A: Beef jerky! Q: Do zombies eat candy with their fingers? A: No, they eat the fingers separately. Q: What kind of life was found on Pluto? A: Fleas! And many more!

The Little Book of Christmas Jokes

Author : Joe King
File Size : 83.4 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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A perfect stocking filler, The Little Book of Christmas Jokes will keep little ones laughing until the turkey's roasted! Why did Father Christmas start sneezing as he went down the chimney? Because he had the floo! How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He looks at his calen-deer. Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey he s always stuffed."

The Ultimate Football Activity Book

Author : Sandy Ransford
File Size : 89.33 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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Bursting with brilliant puzzles, clever crosswords and hilarious jokes, this book provides the perfect way to pass the time during those boring 0-0 draws. Don't watch the World Cup without it! How do ghost footballers keep fit? With regular exorcise. Which football team never meets before matches? Queens Park Strangers.

The Biggest Joke Book Ever

Author : Jack Jacoby
File Size : 31.99 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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An amazing collection of thousands of jokes - great for any occasions or just to get a great belly-laugh.

Footballs Biggest Ever Joke Book

Author : Gary Rowley
File Size : 24.89 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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They say it's a funny old game – well, it is now, anyway! This fabulously funny football joke book is a must have companion for all devotees of the beautiful game. With over 1000 mostly original gags, it's guaranteed to have you in stitches and choking on your half time cup of Bovril. Good, clean fun, it would be equally at home in the hands of kids or grandparents, while still providing ample ammunition to consign your mates down the pub to an early bath. All you need to do to become immersed in this maelstrom of madcap mayhem is find a quiet corner somewhere then slowly turn the page... Enjoy! The letterbox rattled and this eight foot length of six-by-four landed with a thump on the carpet. I shouted, the post has arrived, darling. I spotted Rio Ferdinand on his way home from the big game with a mannequin under his arm. I thought, whey hey, someone's sold him a dummy. Did you hear about the footballer who couldn't stop burping? It was a freak hic'. All this criticism of Rafa Benitez for playing a flat back four is bang out of order if you ask me. What else was he expected to do when his defence had just been run over by a steamroller? What did the manager of the Potato Growers' Association football team say during the half time team talk? It's all about Desiree... Sportsflash: Animal rights activists are camped outside Manchester United's training ground after it was announced Wayne Rooney has injured a calf. I've just turned down a dream move to Paris Saint Germain. I must have been in Seine. Rumour has it the manager of the TV aerial company football team resigned just before midnight. No doubt we'll get a better picture in the morning. We lost 1-0 to Battersea Dogs Home. Jack Russell got the winner. I saw this big, pink footballer, with yellow spots, and strands of hair combed carefully across his scalp. It was Blobby Charlton.

The Best Derby County Football Chants Ever the Best DCFC Songs and Chants

Author : E. Locken
File Size : 45.68 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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The best Derby County football chants ever, also the rudest. Don't ever give the opposition fans a break. Includes classic chants, individual players songs, anti-Forest, Leicester and Sheffield United chants. Keywords: Derby County, DCFC, The Rams, Rammie, Derby County Football Club, Pride Park Stadium, Derby County, DCFC, Derby County Football, Pride Park Stadium, The Baseball Ground, Rams, Rammie, Football Derby, DCFC, Derby Songs, Derby Chants, Derby County Chants, Derby County Songs, the Ultras, the rabble, ramblers, popside, Derby Building Society Stand, Toyota West Stand, Cawarden Stand, UK Diggers East Stand, Super Rams


Author : Eva Blank
File Size : 31.17 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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It’s the mother of all kids’ joke books—an all-encompassing, gut-busting, and bestselling collection of more than 1,700 jokes, tongue-twisters, riddles, and puns for all occasions. Here are 61 elephant jokes, including: What did the elephant say when he walked into the post office? / Ouch! Dozens of knock-knock jokes, like: Knock-knock. / Who’s there? / Doris. / Doris who? / Doris locked. That’s why I knocked! Plus teacher jokes and creature jokes, doctor jokes and robber jokes, food jokes, gross jokes, why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road jokes, and name-game jokes: What do you call a man in a tiger’s cage? / Claude. And for all aspiring comedians, there are joke-telling pointers and tips, funny facts, and spotlights on comic TV shows, books, and actors, from Steve Carell to Tina Fey to SpongeBob Squarepants. It’s the ultimate gift for the incurable jokester.

Literally the Best Language Book Ever

Author : Paul Yeager
File Size : 75.62 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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By turns gleefully precise and happily contrarian, this is a highly opinionated guide to better communication. In Literally, the Best Language Book Ever, author Paul Yeager attacks with a linguistic scalpel the illogical expressions and misappropriated meanings that are so commonplace and annoying. Identifying hundreds of common language miscues, Yeager provides an astute look at the world of words and how we abuse them every day. For the grammar snobs looking for any port in a storm of subpar syntax, or the self-confessed rubes seeking a helping hand, this witty guide can transform even the least literate into the epitome of eloquence.

The Most Ginormous Joke Book in the Universe

Author : The Laugh Factory
File Size : 76.46 MB
Format : PDF
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The biggest joke book on the market gets a ginormous companion! Just in case the massive collection of jokes featured in the bestselling The Biggest Joke Book Ever, No Kidding wasn’t enough, this hugely humorous companion includes more than five thousand additional goofy gags, clever comebacks, and treacherous tongue twisters along with riddles, one-liners, puns, and more. Up to date and brimming with hilarity, the contents of this indispensible comedy resource will have readers laughing nonstop.

Funny Shaped Balls

Author : Jonathan Swan
File Size : 67.5 MB
Format : PDF
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Over 2,000 sporting funnies from every sport: football, rugby, cricket, golf, boxing, snooker and beyond... Two men fishing on a river bank in a canal in London on a Saturday afternoon miles away from a radio or TV. Suddenly one man turns to the other and says, 'Spurs have lost again.' The other man is astonished and says, 'How on earth do you know that?' The other man replies, 'It's quarter to five.' After the success of the George Foreman grill, Audley Harrison is launching his own toaster. The problem is it can only do four rounds. What does Steve Harmison put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket? A bat

Books for Kids 9 12 BODY SWAP Catastrophe A very funny book for boys and girls

Author : Katrina Kahler
File Size : 90.36 MB
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Swapping bodies might be fun for some but when 12 year old Jack Stevenson wakes up from a freak accident one day and finds himself in his dad's body, his life abruptly becomes one huge disaster after another. When he realizes that his dad will have to go to school in his place, things instantly get much, much worse.

Lawyers from Hell Joke Book

Author : Ellie Grossman
File Size : 65.13 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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A collection of jokes contributed by lawyers themselves, offers a humorous look at the supposed greed and amorality of the profession

A Super Weird Mystery Danger at Donut Diner

Author : Jim Smith
File Size : 21.15 MB
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It's the new funniest mystery detective series ever, from the genius behind the bestselling Barry Loser books! Things are about to get SUPER WEIRD. When Melvin moves from the city to Donut (a perfectly round island with a hole in the middle), he thinks it's the most rubbish place ever. Then he meets Rhubarb. Rhubarb is OBSESSED with mysteries and has her own school newspaper to investigate the strange goings on in Donut. (Unfortunately nothing ever happens in Donut so she's never had anything to write about.) But then Melvin notices that the kids at school are acting very strangely. Could it be something to do with the Donut Hole Monsters that everyone is collecting? Soon Melvin and Rhubarb are on the trail of a mystery – one that is going to lead them right into the centre of the donut hole... And Rhubarb might actually have something to write about in her newspaper, if they make it out alive. Will they get to the bottom of the Donut Hole Monster mystery before it’s too late and the whole town is brainwashed? Super Weird Mysteries is a hilarious new series, perfect for readers aged 7 and up, and fans of DogMan, Pamela Butchart and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Don't miss all the other brilliant books by Jim Smith! Barry Loser: I am not a loser Barry Loser: I am still not a loser (Winner of the Roald Dahl Funny Prize) Barry Loser: I am so over being a loser Barry Loser: I am sort of a loser Barry Loser and the holiday of doom Barry Loser and the crumpled carton Barry Loser hates half term! Barry Loser and the birthday billions Barry Loser: Worst school trip EVER Barry Loser is is the best at football NOT Barry Loser's book of keel stuff Barry Loser's christmas joke book! Future Ratboy and the Attack of the Killer Robot Grannies Future Ratboy and the Invasion of the Nom-Noms (Winner of the Scholastic Lollies Award) Future Ratboy and the Quest for the Missing Thingy Jim Smith is the keelest kids’ book author in the whole wide world amen. He graduated from art school with first class honours (the best you can get) and is the author of the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning and bestselling BARRY LOSER series and the Lollies Award-winning FUTURE RATBOY series.

Big Joke book

Author : Carleton Britton Case
File Size : 48.17 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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