Search results for: mr-funny-pants

Mr Funny Pants

Author : Michael Showalter
File Size : 83.56 MB
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The writer and star of The State, Wet Hot American Summer, The Baxter, and Michael & Michael Have Issues brings readers his uniquely absurd humor in his hilarious first book. I was at my wit's end. I'd had enough of this job, this life, and my relationship had broken up. Should I eat chocolate, or go to India, or fall in love? Then I had a revelation: Why not do all three, in that order? And so it was that I embarked on a journey that was segmented into three parts and was then made into a major motion picture. Later, I woke up on an airplane with a hole in my face and a really bad hangover. I was ushered brusquely off the plane by my parents who took me to a rehab where I tested positive for coke, classic coke, special k (the drug), Special K (the cereal), mushrooms, pepperoni, and Restless Leg Syndrome. It was there that I first began painting with my feet. But rewind...the year was 1914. I was just a young German soldier serving in the trenches while simultaneously trying to destroy an evil ring with some help from an elf, a troll, and a giant sorcerer, all while cooking every recipe out of a Julia Child cookbook. What I'm trying to say is that there was a secret code hidden in a painting and I was looking for it with this girl who had a tattoo of a dragon! Let me clarify, it was the 1930s and a bunch of us were migrating out of Oklahoma, and I was this teenage wizard/CIA operative, okay? And, um then I floated off into the meta-verse as a ball of invisible energy that had no outer edge... Ugh, okay. None of this is true. I'm just kind of a normal guy from New Jersey who moved to New York, got into comedy, wrote this book about trying to write this book, and then moved to Alaska, became the mayor of a small town, spent $30,000 on underwear, and now I'm going to rule the world!!!

Biker s Handbook

Author : Jay Barbieri
File Size : 51.44 MB
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There are millions of new motorcyclists hitting the blacktop every year. But being part of the American motorcycle culture takes more than just wanting to be cool. It takes a passion for the open road, freedom, and a lifestyle that even the best financing cant buy. This book, by someone who knows motorcycles as few do, provides a road map to biker culture for anyone new to the experience. Jay Barbieri explains everything a new rider needs to know to become a real biker. He begins with a brief history of motorcycles, and draws on his twenty-five years of riding experience for examples of what works and doesn't in this heady world. Most of all, he aims to spare new bikers the bad decisions neophytes typically make. With hundreds of motorcycle trips under his belt, there is not a mistake Barbieri hasn't made or a situation he hasn't encountered. By sharing the sometimes comical outcomes, he gives the new biker a head start to become more comfortable, credible, and knowledgeable about joining a community that is as much a part of American culture as baseball, hotdogs and apple pie.

The Provocative Barbarian

Author : Samuel W. Geissinger Jr.
File Size : 80.75 MB
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Some will question what kind of man would volunteer during war time to enter into the United States Air Force in a law enforcement field and remain until retirement at age thirty-seven and help form a new United States Air Force while in conflict with North Korea, Vietnam, and the Bay of Pigs. Some will say that it’s barbaric even to temporarily adopt the characteristic of barbarism working undercover as a deputy United States sky marshal flying all over the world on Trans World Airlines, (TWA), owned by Howard Hughes, to protect our largest commercial (747) aircraft with three hundred fifty passengers and crew aboard from air piracy. We visited a different country every twenty four hours. They would also say the same for assuming a similar role as an undercover narcotics agent in the Bureau of Narcotics, Pennsylvania, office of attorney general, retiring again at age sixty-five with twenty-five years of duty. The barbarian role was assumed so often that sometimes it was difficult to put it down. There were critters (that’s not nice), people that I had to work with; rats (that’s not nice); and animals (that’s not nice either) that had to be arrested because they were very dangerous to our society. Sometimes my role was so important that I got arrested right along with everyone else during a big drug raid, just to protect the identity of the barbarian. I have to own the name of the barbarian—that’s obvious, but you’ll have to read on if you’re interested in a career that I’ve described to find out why it’s also provocative.

Fancy Pants

Author : Susan Elizabeth Phillips
File Size : 28.81 MB
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Handsome, brew-guzzling American Dallas Beaudine encounters British playgirl Francesca Day on a backwoods English lane, and the two discover a chemistry that allows their respective natures--akin to oil and water--to mix. Reprint. 25,000 first printing.

Meerkats and Murder

Author : Leslie Langtry
File Size : 75.8 MB
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From USA Today bestselling author Leslie Langtry comes a former CIA agent turned Girl Scout Troop leader, and a murder that will keep you guessing until the end! Just as Merry Wrath’s former career as a CIA agent seems to be fading into a distant memory, the agent turned Girl Scout troop leader discovers that her beloved little suburban ranch house may not be what it seems. When a masked gunman breaks in to demand the return of "Nye," she fears that she may not have been the first spy to live there. What…or who is "Nye?" And when Merry trips over the dead body of that same gunman later at the zoo, she realizes that her favorite king vulture and his mouthy scarlet macaw friend may be witnesses to a murder. Suddenly this becomes much more personal, and her list of suspects grows from a cosplaying teenaged demigod zookeeper, to a possible plot by the Russians... which may even include Merry's old arch-nemesis. Things aren’t going well for her Girl Scout troop either, as a new addition causes trouble, and the girls begin to turn against each other—sparking way more than just preteen angst. From a dangerous close encounter with a mythical red wolf, to a jovial, geriatric group of Russian expats who brew their own mind-bending vodka, Merry Wrath worries that if she doesn’t find the killer soon, this case may be her last. Merry Wrath Mysteries: Merit Badge Murder – book #1 Mint Cookie Murder – book #2 Scout Camp Mystery – short story in the "Killer Beach Reads" collection Marshmallow S'More Murder – book #3 Movie Night Murder – book #4 Mud Run Murder – book #5 Fishing Badge Murder – short story in the "Pushing Up Daisies" collection Motto for Murder – book #6 Map Skills Murder – book #7 Mean Girl Murder – book #8 Marriage Vow Murder – book #9 Mystery Night Murder – book #10 Meerkats and Murder– book #11 What critics are saying about Leslie Langtry's books: "I laughed so hard I cried on multiple occasions while reading MARSHMALLOW S'MORE MURDER! Girl Scouts, the CIA, and the Yakuza... what could possibly go wrong?" ~ Fresh Fiction "Darkly funny and wildly over the top, this mystery answers the burning question, 'Do assassin skills and Girl Scout merit badges mix…" ~ RT BOOKreviews "Mixing a deadly sense of humor and plenty of sexy sizzle, Leslie Langtry creates a brilliantly original, laughter-rich mix of contemporary romance and suspense." ~ Chicago Tribune "Langtry gets the fun started from page one with a myriad of clever details." ~ Publisher's Weekly

Macho Man Murder

Author : Leslie Langtry
File Size : 48.33 MB
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From USA Today bestselling author Leslie Langtry comes the latest hilarious Merry Wrath Mystery, where Merry's past with the CIA comes back to haunt her in a very lively way in small town Iowa! Just when you thought it was safe to come out of the water… Who expects to come home and find an angry Chechen strong man in their front yard? That’s what former CIA turned suburbanite Merry Wrath discovers when she comes home from a disastrous pool party with her Girl Scout troop. Only this is Iowa, not Chechnya, and Aslan is anything but friendly, having realized Merry doubled crossed him in her former CIA life. As revenge for the humiliation, Aslan has an ultimate for Merry: kill her former handler, Riley Andrews, or Aslan’s goons, Ron and Ivan, will kill Merry’s husband, Rex. Be careful what you wish for… When Merry’s assassin colleague Hilly (who isn’t an assassin because the CIA doesn’t have assassins – that would be illegal) shows up to help, Merry dares to hope the two of them can find a solution to avoid killing Riley and protect Rex. But before they can come up with a plan, Merry is faced with a dead body, and Hilly tells police she saw Ron and Ivan dumping it. Unfortunately, Merry know that's not true as she was with the dim-witted rogues when the murder happened. It’s a not-so-classic cozy conundrum… Now Merry is trapped in a diabolical dilemma. With Hilly and Riley now suspects in the murder, she could say nothing and watch Ron and Ivan take the fall. Or does she do the right thing, and help Ron and Ivan implicate her friends in the process? Merry has to solve this one on her own as she walks a fine line between doing the right thing for the wrong people, or the wrong thing for the right people. Merry Wrath Mysteries: Merit Badge Murder – book #1 Mint Cookie Murder – book #2 Scout Camp Mystery – short story in the "Killer Beach Reads" collection Marshmallow S'More Murder – book #3 Movie Night Murder – book #4 Mud Run Murder – book #5 Fishing Badge Murder – short story in the "Pushing Up Daisies" collection Motto for Murder – book #6 Map Skills Murder – book #7 Mean Girl Murder – book #8 Marriage Vow Murder – book #9 Mystery Night Murder – book #10 Meerkats and Murder– book #11 Make Believe Murder – book #12 Maltese Vulture Murder – book #13 Musket Ball Murder – book #14 Macho Man Murder – book #15 Mad Money Murder – book #16 What critics are saying about Leslie Langtry's books: "I laughed so hard I cried on multiple occasions! Girl Scouts, the CIA, and the Yakuza... what could possibly go wrong?" ~ Fresh Fiction "Darkly funny and wildly over the top, this mystery answers the burning question, 'Do assassin skills and Girl Scout merit badges mix…?'" ~ RT BOOKreviews "Mixing a deadly sense of humor and plenty of sexy sizzle, Leslie Langtry creates a brilliantly original, laughter-rich mix of contemporary romance and suspense." ~ Chicago Tribune "Langtry gets the fun started from page one." ~ Publisher's Weekly

Civil Refuge

Author : Jeremiah Nichols
File Size : 71.69 MB
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Above all this book will show you the eternal power of a personal relationship with Jesus. Through the book stories are told that will increase the depth and effectiveness of your relationship with Jesus. It shows us that although we are not always there for God, He is always there for us even when we have let go, he has never let go of us. Through every problem and struggle there are victories and accomplishments and it reminds is that in all things we should remember to give God all the glory. Civil Refuge is Christian Science Fiction and is a story about the future of Christianity in the Universe that God has created. In the future technology will bring us into a closer relationship with Jesus and this book explores the multi-faceted dimensions that occur in the emphasis of these new relationships. America has turned to God and they are at war with the East that has turned to Islam and the Americans seek refuge on the planet of Ionious. Ionious is a technologically advanced planet that is closer to God than any other race of people in the Universe and after the refuge of the Americans a civil war breaks out among the Ionians and the Americans take sides. This book introduces new technologies in the realm of Science Fiction such as the QUEST Starship (Quantum Universal Energy String Transport) and their method of transportation on the planet the PAST gateways (Personal Argos String Transport) which are doorways that offer instantaneous travel to any other door on the planet. Dreamstream Interactive is an entertainment platform that allows users to relive their dreams after they dream them. Eye 2 Eye Interactive is a sporting and training platform that allows users to compete and learn using only the mind and their eyes as controls. This book pioneers new achievements in the Science Fiction arena all giving glory to the creator of the Universe.

A Billionaire For The Night

Author : Sierra Rose
File Size : 76.18 MB
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This is book 3. Phoebe goes to New York City for a florist convention. She hopes to be inspired by beauty...but not by the breathtaking beauty of a one night stand with a Greek god. When she meets a mysterious stranger who says they shouldn't use their real names or idenities, she is intrigued. She becomes Ruby, the shipping heiress, and he is a poor man from the wrong side of the tracks. They spend a glorious night together deep in role play, and then go their separate ways, never to see each other again. But sometimes fate has other plans... Who was the mysterious man she slept with?

Curious Heat

Author : Bruce Rose
File Size : 54.90 MB
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When a harmless kiss sparks an almost explosive heat between fireman Grant Westerman and bartender Conner Dunn, but makes Conner retreat because of his past, Grant decides he must romance Conner. Exposing their deepest longings brings them together, and builds a solid foundation for a relationship, but will they be able to stand together when outside forces threaten to tear them apart?

Fancy Pants Goes West

Author : Vivian Cooper
File Size : 42.3 MB
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Billy Rice appeared in Dry Gulch, with all his fancy togs on and was named Fancy Pants. He joined the posse as the Deputy. Sarah, a mentally, disturbed, fleshy girl tried all kinds of tricks to get him. She was jealous o one of the Akin sisters because Billy liked her and she kidnapped her but the other sister was taken by mistake also. The Mexican banditos caught them. The Akin sisters put sleeping powder in their soup and escaped. A new church was built and a Minister, his sister and mother came to town. Gray Wolf, of the Apaches, turned outlaw with his braves and he was determined to marry the Princess. She hated him, so the Chief and her came to see the Sheriff for help. Pedro, one of the Mexican banditos saw Crystal, the Minister’s sister and he fell in love with her. He was determined to leave the gang. The Minister married the Princess and Gray Wolf took them captive. Pedro happened upon them and rescued but was killed by the leader of the gang. Marshall Tom came, saw Crystal and fell in love with her. He sang and played his guitar for her as she tried to get over Pedro’s death.