Man Walks Into A Bar

The Ultimate Collection of Jokes and One-Liners

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Author: Mike Haskins,Stephen Arnott

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1446406423

Category: Humor

Page: 576

View: 5672

Man Walks Into A Bar is a one-stop shop for anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. The jokes are ordered thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, the lot. There are also regular panels which group jokes by type too - Essex girls, changing a lightbulb etc. Our material will turn you into the toast of your local pub or make you loathed in your own home - remember, it is all in the telling. From the sublimely erudite to stuff Frank Carson would turn down (the book has a 'world's worst jokes' section), this book can service you with every joke you'll ever need. What do you call an eskimo chav? Innuinnit What did the zen student say at the hamburger stand? Make me one with everything What's Irish and lives in the garden? Paddy O'Furniture

A Man Walks Into a Bar 3

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Author: Jonathan Swan

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1409004139

Category: Humor

Page: 400

View: 7082

Did you hear about the scarecrow that won the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field. What kind of cheese can hide a horse? Mascarpone. What about the red ship and the purple ship that collided at sea? Over one hundred sailors were marooned. Did you hear about the paranoid vegetarian? He always feared the wurst. A blonde Essex girl walked into a bar with an Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman, and started to change the lightbulb. The barman asked, 'Is this some kind of joke?' The third in the bestselling series of hilarious joke books - packed full of every kind of joke to make you laugh until your sides split. From elephants to mothers-in-law, priests to chickens, 'knock knock' to 'doctor, doctor' and much more besides, A Man Walks into a Bar 3 contains over 2,500 great new gags. Even Queen Victoria would be amused.

Understanding Language through Humor

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Author: Stanley Dubinsky,Chris Holcomb

Publisher: Cambridge University Press

ISBN: 1139496948

Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

Page: N.A

View: 4122

Students often struggle to understand linguistic concepts through examples of language data provided in class or in texts. Presented with ambiguous information, students frequently respond that they do not 'get it'. The solution is to find an example of humour that relies on the targeted ambiguity. Once they laugh at the joke, they have tacitly understood the concept, and then it is only a matter of explaining why they found it funny. Utilizing cartoons and jokes illustrating linguistic concepts, this book makes it easy to understand these concepts, while keeping the reader's attention and interest. Organized like a course textbook in linguistics, it covers all the major topics in a typical linguistics survey course, including communication systems, phonetics and phonology, morphemes, words, phrases, sentences, language use, discourses, child language acquisition and language variation, while avoiding technical terminology.

Man Walks Into A Bar 2

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Author: Jonathan Swan

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1446458784

Category: Humor

Page: 576

View: 2306

Man Walks Into A Bar 2 is the second volume of the hugely popular and hilariously funny joke book series. A one-stop shop for anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. The jokes are ordered thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, the lot. There are also regular panels which group jokes by type too - Essex girls, changing a lightbulb etc. Our material will turn you into the toast of your local pub or make you loathed in your own home - remember, it is all in the telling. From the sublimely erudite to stuff Frank Carson would turn down, this book can service you with every joke you'll ever need. Including such gems as the following: Why have elephants got big ears? Because Noddy won't pay the ransom. A magic tractor is driving down a country road and turns into a field. An amnesiac walks into a bar. 'Do I come here often?' I went to a book shop and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. How do you know when you're a pirate? You just arrrrrggghh.

The Essex Joke Book

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Author: Nicholas Knights

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1448132630

Category: Humor

Page: 192

View: 7392

WARNING: This book contains laugh-out-loud jokes about fake tans, vajazzles and all fings Essex Forget the Rolex or the flash car, what you really need in your life to make your friends well jel is The Essex Joke Book. It’s packed full of bling-tastic banter, racy rib-ticklers and gob-smackingly good gags all about Essex Girls and Boys, their tans and tribulations, conquests and cock-ups, and more. How can you tell an Essex Girl has been using her iPad? There’s Tipp-Ex on the screen. What do you call the skeleton of an Essex Boy in a wardrobe? Last year’s hide-and-seek champion. What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette? An Essex Girl doing naked cartwheels. An Essex Girl gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. ‘You can go and play with the other kids, you know,’ she says. ‘It’s best I stay here,’ he says. ‘Why?’ asks the Essex Girl. The boy says: ‘Because I’m the f**king goalkeeper.’

The Ultimate Book of Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead Jokes

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Author: James Buffington

Publisher: Ulysses Press

ISBN: 1569758433

Category: Humor

Page: 224

View: 2630

AS SHAMELESS AND HILARIOUS AS IT IS POLITICALLY INCORRECT What's the mating call of a blonde? "I'm sooooo drunk." How does a brunette recharge her love life? She changes the batteries. How is a redhead like a condom? They both spend most of their time in your wallet. Why did 18 blondes go to the movies together? The sign said: "Under seventeen not admitted." What does a redhead scream when climaxing? Her own name. Why does Ohio have brunettes and California have earthquakes? California had first choice. Why did the blonde sell her water skis? She couldn't find a lake on a hillside.

Laugh, Cackle & Howl

Joke Book

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Author: Stephen Arnott,Mike Haskins

Publisher: Prion Books

ISBN: 9781853756191

Category: Humor

Page: 573

View: 5382

Crazy comedy is at its best in this collection of witty one-liners and rib-tickling punch lines. Many are original puns that’ll have readers laughing their socks off, along with absurd shaggy dog tales and comic quotes. If, as they say, laughter is the best medicine, the hysterically funny jokes in this book will ensure maximum health—no need to ever take a sick day again—unless, of course, your sides have split or you’ve ended up in stitches!