Extremely Embarrassing Dad Jokes

Because Dads don" t know when to stop


Author: Ian Allen

Publisher: Pavilion Books

ISBN: 1910232580

Category: Humor

Page: 300

View: 1223

What happened to the man with five legs? His trousers fit him like a glove.You can’t keep a good Dad joke down. At the Sunday lunch table, down the pub, at the workplace, dads all over the nation are still churning out the lamest, most pathetic jokes you’ve ever heard. And we’ve gathered them all in this book. Back by popular demand, Extremely Embarrassing Dad Jokes is an all-new collection of Dad joke favourites. With 1000 rib-tickling jokes for every occasion, this book makes it easier than ever to have a laugh - or, more likely, a groan - with Dad.Who drives round the West Country in a camper van? Tess of the Dormobiles.What do angry mice send one another in winter? Cross-mouse cards.

Down in the Dark


Author: Mike Tweddle

Publisher: iUniverse

ISBN: 1450253903

Category: Fiction

Page: 156

View: 1992

When he hits the school bully (and the son of the Town Mayor Harry Spindle) fifteen year old Nelson Burns is excluded from school and quickly heading for the scrapheap. Nelson lands himself a part time job at the scrapyard owned by the infamous Tommy Ratson and his three legged, one eyed yard dog Zombie, who strikes up an instant friendship with Nelsons pet mongrel, Kickstart. When Nelsons best friend Sparky suggests they can make their fortune digging fluorspar out of a local deserted mine the temptation for some adventure proves too strong. The only trouble is the mine is owned by Harry Spindle, who also happens to own the waste company that collects the towns rubbish. When people in the town start acting more and more bizarrely Nelson starts to realise that it may have something to do with Harry Spindle, his menacing hench man, Cold Eyes, his recycling facility and the towns water supply. Nelson realises that, although he has to turn his life around, its down to him alone to prevent a huge environmental disaster from taking place.

Project Dad

The Complete, Do-It-Yourself Guide for Becoming a Great Father


Author: Todd Cartmell

Publisher: Revell

ISBN: 1441214852

Category: Religion

Page: 208

View: 4737

Every dad wants to be a great dad. But what does it take to build a great dad? What raw materials does one need? And how do you put them all together? Designed for the do-it-yourselfer in every man, Project Dad is a humorous, biblically based guidebook to becoming a great dad. With short, entertaining chapters that cover five key components, this guidebook encourages fathers to raise their children with a renewed sense of purpose in order to positively impact them in their adult life. Cartmell shows dads that the way they look at, talk to, connect with, act toward, and lead their children is what separates a good dad from a great dad. Discussion questions at the end of each chapter make this book ideal for individual or group study.

In The Boat With LBJ


Author: John L. Bullion

Publisher: Taylor Trade Publishing

ISBN: 1461709016

Category: History

Page: 367

View: 8276

When Waddy Bullion refers to his experience working for LBJ as a tax attorney and business advisor, he calls it "being in the boat." LBJ was the captain; the crew either met his standards for effort and excellence or they got out.

That Awkward Age


Author: Mary Selby

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1448152232

Category: Fiction

Page: 352

View: 4985

When Robert Peabody, the new vicar, moved into the village of Bumpstaple, the villagers were naturally agog. And when they discovered that, not only was he handsome enough to send the spinsters of the parish all a-flutter, he was also divorced, and a single parent, it was agreed that he could not be allowed to remain single for long. Mavis Entwhistle, whose pastry had caused successive vicars to consider fasting as a desirable alternative lifestyle, had decided that her surprisingly lovely daughter Sally (for Mavis was no more endowed with a beautiful face than with a light hand at the pastryboard) would make the perfect vicar's wife. Sally, having beaten off her mother's attempts to marry her off to the washing machine repair man, the milkman and the baker's assistant, refused to meet this latest candidate for her hand, until a chance encounter in the mobile library led to some surprising and decidedly un-vicarish behaviour. Robert's son, meanwhile, was trying to cope with adolescent confusion in the form of Claire, whom he met on the school bus. Claire had quite enough to cope with, what with her spots and the dreadful embarrassment of her mother Tessa's advancing pregnancy - and at her age, too! And as though this were not enough, she was having to put up with the child from her hell, her cousin Hugh, who had come to stay while his parents were abroad. When Robert planned to hold a new-style Carol Service and Hugh decided to introduce a little realism into the Christmas story in the shape of Tessa's pet pig, the villagers began to wonder just what was in store for them.

Leading like a champion

lessons learned growing up in a big Irish Catholic family


Author: Tim O'Brien

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9780971458970

Category: Leadership

Page: 360

View: 3131

Different sexual worlds

contemporary case studies of sexuality


Author: Dick Skeen

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9780669272789

Category: Health & Fitness

Page: 179

View: 1999

In-depth look at the sexual lives of real people, using their own words.

Douglas Fairbanks and the American Century


Author: John C. Tibbetts,James M. Welsh

Publisher: Univ. Press of Mississippi

ISBN: 1626741476

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 384

View: 3831

Douglas Fairbanks and the American Century brings to life the most popular movie star of his day, the personification of the Golden Age of Hollywood. At his peak, in the teens and twenties, the swashbuckling adventurer embodied the new American Century of speed, opportunity, and aggressive optimism. The essays and interviews in this volume bring fresh perspectives to his life and work, including analyses of films never before examined. Also published here for the first time in English is a first-hand production account of the making of Fairbanks’s last silent film, The Iron Mask,/i>. Fairbanks (1883–1939) was the most vivid and strenuous exponent of the American Century, whose dominant mode after 1900 was the mass marketing of a burgeoning democratic optimism, at home and abroad. During those first decades of the twentieth century, his satiric comedy adventures shadow-boxed with the illusions of class and custom. His characters managed to combine the American Easterner’s experience and pretension and the Westerner’s promise and expansion. As the masculine personification of the Old World aristocrat and the New World self-made man—tied to tradition yet emancipated from history—he constructed a uniquely American aristocrat striding into a new age and sensibility. This is the most complete account yet written of the film career of Douglas Fairbanks, one of the first great stars of the silent American cinema and one of the original United Artists (comprising Fairbanks, Mary Pickford, Charles Chaplin, and D. W. Griffith). John C. Tibbetts and James M. Welsh’s text is especially rich in its coverage of the early years of the star’s career from 1915 to 1920 and covers in detail several films previously considered lost.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

The World's Oldest Joke Book


Author: Dan Crompton

Publisher: Michael O'Mara Books

ISBN: 1782432426

Category: Humor

Page: 143

View: 9218

They say the old ones are the best, and this long-negelcted collection of jokes revived from the archives of Ancient Greece confirms that in some cases this is true, and in others it really isn't. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum is the first commercial translation of Philogelos - a 1600-year-old collection of Greek jokes. From absurd situations to general stupididity, farting to foolishness, this book contains a wealth of jokes, some of which still hit the mark and some that will have you groaning with laughter, even if it is because they're so bad, they're good! Includes such 'old chestnuts' as: . At a woman's funeral, a stranger solemnly asks, 'Who is resting here?' 'I am!' cries the widower, 'Now that she's gone!' From the sublime to the ridiculous, and despite some humour appearing to have been 'lost in translation', this bizarre collection of quips from our comedy forefathers is guaranteed to raise a smile.