Search results for: dear-dumb-diary-4-never-do-anything-ever

Dear Dumb Diary 4 Never Do Anything Ever

Author : Jim Benton
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Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be. Her best friend's a backstabber. Her worst enemy is a sweetheart. And her dog is just waiting for the right moment to seek his revenge. Why should Jamie even bother going to school? Why not? After a run-in with Mega-Popular Angeline, aka Pure Evil, Jamie reforms her selfish ways & becomes the decent human being she never thought she could be. But she quickly realizes that helping others kind of stinks. Is someone trying to thwart her attempts at irresistible inner beauty? Or will Jamie finally achieve the "I'm an angel" glow she knows will make Hudson Rivers fall madly in love w/ her?

Never Do Anything Ever

Author : Jim Benton
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Jamie Kelly writes in her diary about her search for inner beauty, her fund raising efforts for the Juvenile Optometry Federation, and her practice strategy for the Jump-Rope-A-Thon.

Dear Dumb Diary 9 That s What Friends Aren t For

Author : Jim Benton
File Size : 63.68 MB
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Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her. Dear Dumb Diary, So now I'm friends with Angeline. This is automatic friendship, and I have to just accept it and make the best of things. See, if I objected, then Aunt Carol might divorce Angeline's uncle, sending both of them tumbling into a deep pit of depression for the rest of their lives, and Angeline could wind up feeling so guilty that she would have to go be locked up in an old dirty insane asylum for years and years, and Stinker's puppies could grow up not knowing both their parents --- and I couldn't live with myself for doing something like that to a puppy.

Let s Pretend This Never Happened Dear Dumb Diary 1

Author : Jim Benton
File Size : 68.34 MB
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Read the hilarious, candid (& sometimes mean) diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be. In this book, Jamie contends with Angeline, the school's prettiest, most popular girl (who Jamie thinks is a goon!) and the impending visit of her troll-like little cousin. Will Jamie survive? Will she go mad? Will she send her mom's nasty casserole to starving children in Wheretheheckistan? You'll just have to read the first installment of Dear Dumb Diary to find out!

Dear Dumb Diary Year Two 5 You Can Bet on That

Author : Jim Benton
File Size : 83.89 MB
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The hilarious and bestselling series from Jim Benton continues! Jamie, Isabella, and Angeline have known each other for a long time. They've even become friends -- whether Jamie likes it or not. But when the trio starts a friendly competition, all bets are off. The loser will be treated to a game of Dare or Worse Dare... with Isabella. (And Jamie's pretty sure that's like having a banana-peeling contest with a starving monkey. The monkey always wins.) What could go wrong? Probably everything. And it's probably all that blondwad Angeline's fault. Probably. Jamie still has no idea that anyone is reading her diary, so please, please, please don't tell her. And definitely don't tell her that she's the star of her very own Dear Dumb Diary movie, available on DVD. (Her glamorous ego might not be able to handle it.) ----------- EXCERPT: Dear Dumb Diary, Isabella and I had one of those days where you spend four hours trying to come up with something to do, and then by the time you do, there’s no time to do it so you just watch TV in positions that make it look like maybe you were born without bones. We do this about twelve times a month. "Since we're not doing anything, we should practice debate," I said. "No, we shouldn't," Isabella said. "We just did," I said.

Dear Dumb Diary 11 Okay So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers

Author : Jim Benton
File Size : 33.58 MB
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Bestselling author Jamie Kelly has been keeping diaries for years . . . and each one just gets funnier! But she has no idea that anyone is reading them. So please, please, please don't tell her. Something strange is happening at Mackerel Middle School. Even stranger than Jamie and Isabella becoming friends with Angeline. (Which is still really, really strange.) Jamie can suddenly and inexplicably understand the weirdest and most mysterious creatures around: Boys. And there's only one logical explanation --- superpowers.

Dear Dumb Diary 8 It s Not My Fault I Know Everything

Author : Jim Benton
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New York Times Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with another hilarious, candid, and sometimes not-so-nice diary! Dear Dumb Diary, I went back and read some of my very oldest diaries. The entries say things like "I eated salad dressing" and "I got a Barbie shoe stuck in Stinker's nose again" and "The vet was mean to me about the Barbie shoe so I tried to bite him but vets are quick at not getting bit because dogs try all the time but dogs don't usually kick so I did that." What amazed me was just how dumb I used to be, considering how smart I am now. There must have been a day when I just woke up smart.

Dear Dumb Diary 12 Me Just Like You Only Better

Author : Jim Benton
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There are more than 5 million Dear Dumb Diary books in print! Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her. Dear Dumb Diary, I went five whole days without seeing or hearing from Angeline. I was beginning to get used to it. It's true that I have learned to overlook many of Angeline's flaws, like her flawlessness, but she can still be difficult to be around. Like when she's lit perfectly, for example. To my extreme credit, I have learned to pretend to ignore Angeline's failure to not be perfect.

Dear Dumb Diary 2 My Pants Are Haunted

Author : Jim Benton
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Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be. They were just a soft, ordinary pair of thrift-shop jeans until Jamie Kelly tried them on . . . Then they became a tight, scratchy, slightly smelly, and utterly ordinary pair of thrift-shop jeans with an embarrassing haunting problem. Do the pants have the power to soothe a vengeful beagle, vanquish The Prettiest Girl in the World, or make the wearer irresistible to the eighth cutest guy in the grade? Are the haunted pants so dazzling they can hurt and maybe permanently damage the eyes of onlookers? Or are the haunted pants just, well, haunted (which is kind of gross when you think about it)?

Dumbness is a Dish Best Served Cold Dear Dumb Diary Deluxe

Author : Jim Benton
File Size : 27.34 MB
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Jamie Kelly is back and dumber than ever in this super-deluxe four-color Dear Dumb Diary special edition! Life at Mackerel Middle School is as dumb as ever -- but Jamie Kelly may have finally found the key to fame, fortune, and fabulousness. Together with Isabella and Angeline, she's come up with a moneymaking idea, and it has to do with food. Everyone likes food! They're going to be rich! The only problem? They have to come up with something that people actually want to eat. Jamie has some sophisticated thoughts on food, like, "She was manipulating us like dough. Like the sweet, delicious dough that we are. And she was baking us into the type of delicious cookies you can only get from dough like us. And she was putting sprinkles of us on top of us, and -- forget it. I'm hungry. I want some cookies." This is sure to go well.