This Book Is Full of Spiders

Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It

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Author: David Wong

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 1250017904

Category: Fiction

Page: 416

View: 9335

From the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes. WARNING: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You can't see it, because it decides what you see. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. So what happens when your family, friends and neighbors get mind-controlling skull spiders? We're all about to find out. Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.

John Dies at the End

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Author: David Wong

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 031255513X

Category: Fiction

Page: 375

View: 3294

A full-length tale based on the cult online serial by the editor-in-chief of Cracked.com finds an increasing number of people changed into threatening inhuman creatures by a hallucinogen, a situation that places the fate of the world in the hands of a pair of anti-heroes. 50,000 first printing.

What the Hell Did I Just Read

A Novel of Cosmic Horror

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Author: David Wong

Publisher: St. Martin's Press

ISBN: 1466835443

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 8511

It's the story "They" don't want you to read. Though, to be fair, "They" are probably right about this one. To quote the Bible, "Learning the truth can be like loosening a necktie, only to realize it was the only thing keeping your head attached." No, don't put the book back on the shelf -- it is now your duty to purchase it to prevent others from reading it. Yes, it works with e-books, too, I don't have time to explain how. While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth they -- like you -- would be better off not knowing. Your first impulse will be to think that a story this gruesome -- and, to be frank, stupid -- cannot possibly be true. That is precisely the reaction "They" are hoping for. John Dies at the End's "smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next" (Publishers Weekly) and This Book is Full of Spiders was "unlike any other book of the genre" (Washington Post). Now, New York Times bestselling author David Wong is back with What the Hell Did I Just Read, the third installment of this black-humored thriller series.

Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits

A Novel

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Author: David Wong

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 1466835435

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 1116

A Winner of the 2016 Alex Awards Nightmarish villains with superhuman enhancements. An all-seeing social network that tracks your every move. Mysterious, smooth-talking power players who lurk behind the scenes. A young woman from the trailer park. And her very smelly cat. Together, they will decide the future of mankind. Get ready for a world in which anyone can have the powers of a god or the fame of a pop star, in which human achievement soars to new heights while its depravity plunges to the blackest depths. A world in which at least one cat smells like a seafood shop's dumpster on a hot summer day. This is the world in which Zoey Ashe finds herself, navigating a futuristic city in which one can find elements of the fantastic, nightmarish and ridiculous on any street corner. Her only trusted advisor is the aforementioned cat, but even in the future, cats cannot give advice. At least not any that you'd want to follow. Will Zoey figure it all out in time? Or maybe the better question is, will you? After all, the future is coming sooner than you think.

The Oracle Year

A Novel

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Author: Charles Soule

Publisher: HarperCollins

ISBN: 0062686658

Category: Fiction

Page: 416

View: 5068

From bestselling comic-book franchise writer Charles Soule comes a clever and witty first novel of a twentysomething New Yorker who wakes up one morning with the power to predict the future—perfect for fans of Joe Hill and Brad Meltzer, or books like This Book Is Full of Spiders and Welcome to Night Vale. Knowledge is power. So when an unassuming Manhattan bassist named Will Dando awakens from a dream one morning with 108 predictions about the future in his head, he rapidly finds himself the most powerful man in the world. Protecting his anonymity by calling himself the Oracle, he sets up a heavily guarded Web site with the help of his friend Hamza to selectively announce his revelations. In no time, global corporations are offering him millions for exclusive access, eager to profit from his prophecies. He's also making a lot of high-powered enemies, from the President of the United States and a nationally prominent televangelist to a warlord with a nuclear missile and an assassin grandmother. Legions of cyber spies are unleashed to hack the Site—as it's come to be called—and the best manhunters money can buy are deployed not only to unmask the Oracle but to take him out of the game entirely. With only a handful of people he can trust—including a beautiful journalist—it's all Will can do to simply survive, elude exposure, and protect those he loves long enough to use his knowledge to save the world. Delivering fast-paced adventure on a global scale as well as sharp-witted satire on our concepts of power and faith, Marvel writer Charles Soule's audacious debut novel takes readers on a rollicking ride where it's impossible to predict what will happen next.

Mogworld

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Author: Yahtzee Croshaw

Publisher: Dark Horse Comics

ISBN: 1506706428

Category: Fiction

Page: 416

View: 707

In a world full to bursting with would-be heroes, Jim couldn't be less interested in saving the day. His fireballs fizzle. He's awfully grumpy. Plus, he's been dead for about sixty years. When a renegade necromancer wrenches him from eternal slumber and into a world gone terribly, bizarrely wrong, all Jim wants is to find a way to die properly, once and for all. On his side, he's got a few shambling corpses, an inept thief, and a powerful death wish. But he's up against tough odds: angry mobs of adventurers, a body falling apart at the seams — and a team of programmers racing a deadline to hammer out the last few bugs in their AI. *Mogworld is the debut novel from video-game icon Yahtzee Croshaw (Zero Punctuation)! With an exclusive one-chapter preview of Yahtzee Croshaw's next novel, Jam—coming to bookstores in October 2012! *Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw's video review site, Zero Punctuation, receives over 2,500,000 unique hits a month, and has been licensed by G4 Television. *Yahtzee's blog receives about 150,000 hits per day. "The first legitimate breakout hit from the gaming community in recent memory." -Boing Boing

The Unnoticeables

A Novel

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Author: Robert Brockway

Publisher: Tor Books

ISBN: 1466869305

Category: Fiction

Page: 288

View: 1901

From Robert Brockway, Sr. Editor and Columnist of Cracked.com comes The Unnoticeables, a funny and frightening urban fantasy. There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is "you" gets solved. Carey doesn't much like that idea. As a punk living in New York City, 1977, Carey is sick and tired of watching strange kids with unnoticeable faces abduct his friends. He doesn't care about the rumors of tar-monsters in the sewers or unkillable psychopaths invading the punk scene—all he wants is to drink cheap beer and dispense ass-kickings. Kaitlyn isn't sure what she's doing with her life. She came to Hollywood in 2013 to be a stunt woman, but last night a former teen heartthrob tried to eat her, her best friend has just gone missing, and there's an angel outside her apartment. Whatever she plans on doing with her life, it should probably happen in the few remaining minutes she has left. There are angels. There are demons. They are the same thing. It's up to Carey and Kaitlyn to stop them. The survival of the human race is in their hands. We are, all of us, well and truly screwed. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Common Spiders of North America

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Author: Richard Alan Bradley,Steve Buchanan

Publisher: Univ of California Press

ISBN: 0520274881

Category: Science

Page: 271

View: 8618

Spiders are among the most diverse groups of terrestrial invertebrates, yet they are among the least studied and understood. This first comprehensive guide to all 68 spider families in North America beautifully illustrates 469 of the most commonly encountered species. Group keys enable identification by web type and other observable details, and species descriptions include identification tips, typical habitat, geographic distribution, and behavioral notes. A concise illustrated introduction to spider biology and anatomy explains spider relationships. This book is a critical resource for curious naturalists who want to understand this ubiquitous and ecologically critical component of our biosphere.

Through the Valley of the Nest of Spiders

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Author: Samuel R. Delany

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9781936833146

Category: Fiction

Page: 804

View: 1781

Follows the lives of Eric Jeffers and Morgan Haskell, two African Americans who meet at the ages of seventeen and nineteen, respectively, become a couple, and spend the next sixty years together.

Blindsight

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Author: Peter Watts

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 9781429955195

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 2364

Blindsight is the Hugo Award–nominated novel by Peter Watts, "a hard science fiction writer through and through and one of the very best alive" (The Globe and Mail). Two months have past since a myriad of alien objects clenched about the Earth, screaming as they burned. The heavens have been silent since—until a derelict space probe hears whispers from a distant comet. Something talks out there: but not to us. Who should we send to meet the alien, when the alien doesn't want to meet? Send a linguist with multiple-personality disorder and a biologist so spliced with machinery that he can't feel his own flesh. Send a pacifist warrior and a vampire recalled from the grave by the voodoo of paleogenetics. Send a man with half his mind gone since childhood. Send them to the edge of the solar system, praying you can trust such freaks and monsters with the fate of a world. You fear they may be more alien than the thing they've been sent to find—but you'd give anything for that to be true, if you knew what was waiting for them. . . . At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Jam

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Author: Yahtzee Croshaw

Publisher: Dark Horse Comics

ISBN: 150670641X

Category: Fiction

Page: 288

View: 8930

We were prepared for an earthquake. We had a flood plan in place. We could even have dealt with zombies. Probably. But no one expected the end to be quite so... sticky... or strawberry scented. Yahtzee Croshaw (Mogworld, Zero Punctuation Reviews) returns to print with a follow-up to his smash-hit debut: Jam, a dark comedy about the one apocalypse no one predicted. * The hilarious new novel by the author of Mogworld! * Croshaw's Zero Punctuation Reviews is the most viewed video game review on the web! * For lovers of bizarre horror and unforgettable characters! "[Croshaw is] able to pull off slapstick comedy in print, and that's no easy feat." –ComicsAlliance

Heir Apparent

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Author: Vivian Vande Velde

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

ISBN: 9780547351919

Category: Young Adult Fiction

Page: 336

View: 3891

In Heir Apparent there are as many ways to win as there are to get killed. Giannine can testify to how many ways there are to die—it's about all she's been able to do since she started playing. Now all she has to do is get the magic ring, find the stolen treasure, answer the dwarf's dumb riddles, come up with a poem for the head-chopping statue, cope with the army of ghosts, outmaneuver her half brothers, and defeat the man-eating dragon. If she can do all of that, why, she just might save her own life!

Hyperbole and a Half

Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened

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Author: Allie Brosh

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1451666187

Category: Humor

Page: 288

View: 6031

FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. Touching, absurd, and darkly comic, Allie Brosh’s highly anticipated book Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Amazing Arachnids

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Author: Jillian Cowles

Publisher: Princeton University Press

ISBN: 1400890187

Category: Nature

Page: 328

View: 7916

A richly illustrated and up-close look at the secret lives of spiders and other arachnids The American Southwest is home to an extraordinary diversity of arachnids, from spitting spiders that squirt silk over their prey to scorpions that court one another with kissing and dancing. Amazing Arachnids presents these enigmatic creatures as you have never seen them before. Featuring a wealth of color photos of more than 300 different kinds of arachnids from eleven taxonomic orders--both rare and common species—this stunningly illustrated book reveals the secret lives of arachnids in breathtaking detail, including never-before-seen images of their underground behavior. Amazing Arachnids covers all aspects of arachnid biology, such as anatomy, sociality, mimicry, camouflage, and venoms. You will meet bolas spiders that lure their victims with fake moth pheromones, fishing spiders that woo their mates with silk-wrapped gifts, chivalrous cellar spiders, tiny mites, and massive tarantulas, as well as many others. Along the way, you will learn why arachnids are living fossils in some respects and nimble opportunists in others, and how natural selection has perfected their sensory structures, defense mechanisms, reproductive strategies, and hunting methods. Covers more than 300 different kinds of arachnids, including ones new to science Features more than 750 stunning color photos Describes every aspect of arachnid biology, from physiology to biogeography Illustrates courtship and mating, birth, maternal care, hunting, and defense Includes first-ever photos of the underground lives of schizomids and vinegaroons Provides the first organized guide to macroscopic mites, including photos of living mites for easy reference

Spider Behaviour

Flexibility and Versatility

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Author: Marie Elisabeth Herberstein

Publisher: Cambridge University Press

ISBN: 9781139494786

Category: Medical

Page: N.A

View: 9444

Spiders are often underestimated as suitable behavioural models because of the general belief that due to their small brains their behaviour is innate and mostly invariable. Challenging this assumption, this fascinating book shows that rather than having a limited behavioural repertoire, spiders show surprising cognitive abilities, changing their behaviour to suit their situational needs. The team of authors unravels the considerable intra-specific as well as intra-individual variability and plasticity in different behaviours ranging from foraging and web building to communication and courtship. An introductory chapter on spider biology, systematics and evolution provides the reader with the necessary background information to understand the discussed behaviours and helps to place them into an evolutionary context. Highlighting an under-explored area of behaviour, this book will provide new ideas for behavioural researchers and students unfamiliar with spiders as well as a valuable resource for those already working in this intriguing field.

Charlotte's Web (full color)

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Author: E. B. White

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0064410935

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 192

View: 8009

Beloved by generations, Charlotte's Web and Stuart Little are two of the most cherished stories of all time. Now, for the first time ever, these treasured classics are available in lavish new collectors' editions. In addition to a larger trim size, the original black-and-white art by Garth Williams has been lovingly colorized by renowned illustrator Rosemary Wells, adding another dimension to these two perfect books for young and old alike.

What If?

Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions

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Author: Randall Munroe

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

ISBN: 0544272994

Category: Humor

Page: 320

View: 8133

The creator of the incredibly popular webcomic xkcd presents his heavily researched answers to his fans' oddest questions, including “What if I took a swim in a spent-nuclear-fuel pool?” and “Could you build a jetpack using downward-firing machine guns?” 100,000 first printing.

Spiders, Scorpions, Centipedes and Mites

The Commonwealth and International Library: Biology Division

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Author: J. L. Cloudsley-Thompson

Publisher: Elsevier

ISBN: 1483139670

Category: Science

Page: 296

View: 4733

Spiders, Scorpions, Centipedes and Mites provides information pertinent to different species of insects, including woodlice, millipedes, centipedes, scorpions, and spiders. This book presents the complexity of factors influencing the distribution and ecology of animals. Organized into 11 chapters, this book starts with an overview of the characteristics and different adaptation to life on land of woodlice. This text then provides information on the structural characteristics of the different orders of millipedes, including Oniscomorpha, Limacomorpha, and Colobognatha. Other chapters consider the biology of centipedes wherein the body is divided into a variable number of somites, each of which is provided with a pair of limbs used for locomotion. This book discusses as well the large pedipalp furnished with stout chelae, which is the most striking feature of spiders. The final chapter deals with the stages in the development of mites. This book is a valuable resource for zoologists, upper school biology teachers, and university students.

The Girl in the Spider's Web

A Lisbeth Salander novel, continuing Stieg Larsson's Millennium Series

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Author: David Lagercrantz

Publisher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard

ISBN: 0385354290

Category: Fiction

Page: 416

View: 767

Soon to be a major motion picture starring Claire Foy. Lisbeth Salander and Mikael Blomkvist return in this ripped-from-the-headlines, high-octane follow-up to Stieg Larsson's The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. One of the Best Books of the Year NPR * USA Today * O, The Oprah Magazine * Esquire A genius hacker who has always been an outsider. A journalist with a penchant for danger. She is Lisbeth Salander, the girl with the dragon tattoo. He is Mikael Blomkvist, crusading editor of Millennium. One night, Blomkvist receives a call from a source who claims to have been given information vital to the United States by a young female hacker. Blomkvist, always on the lookout for a story, reaches out to Salander for help. She, as usual, has plans of her own. Together they are drawn into a ruthless underworld of spies, cybercriminals, and government operatives—some willing to kill to protect their secrets.

Britain's Spiders

A Field Guide

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Author: Lawrence Bee,Geoff Oxford,Helen Smith

Publisher: Princeton University Press

ISBN: 140088506X

Category: Nature

Page: 480

View: 5160

Britain’s Spiders is a photographic guide to all 37 of the British families, focussing on spiders that can be identified in the field. Illustrated with a remarkable collection of photographs, it is designed to be accessible to a wide audience, including those new to spider identification. This book pushes the boundaries of field identification for this challenging group by combining information on features that can be seen with the naked eye or a hand lens with additional evidence from webs, egg-sacs, behaviour, phenology, habitats and distributions. Individual accounts cover 395 of Britain’s approximately 670 species, with the limitations to field identification clearly explained. As the first photographic field guide to British spiders to be published since 1989, this book fills a major gap in the resources available to everyone with an interest in this fascinating, diverse and important group of animals. More than 700 stunning photographs Includes a guide to spider families, based on features recognisable in the field, focussing on body shape and other characteristics, as well as separate guides to webs and egg-sacs Detailed accounts highlight key identification tips for each genus and species, and include information on status, behaviour and habitats Features up-to-date distribution maps, and charts showing adult seasonality Introductory chapters explore the biology of spiders, and where, when and how to find them, including equipment needed in the field Contains a complete list of the spiders recorded in Britain, indicating the ease of identification as well as rarity and conservation status Provides information on how to record spiders and make your records count, and guidance on how to take your interest further