Theft by Finding

Diaries: Volume One

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Author: David Sedaris

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 0748123067

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 528

View: 3848

'He's like an American Alan Bennett, in that his own fastidiousness becomes the joke, as per the taxi encounter, or his diary entry about waiting interminably in a coffee-bar queue' Brian Logan, Guardian review of An Evening with David Sedaris. The point is to find out who you are and to be true to that person. Because so often you can't. Won't people turn away if they know the real me? you wonder. The me that hates my own child, that put my perfectly healthy dog to sleep? The me who thinks, deep down, that maybe The Wire was overrated? For nearly four decades, David Sedaris has faithfully kept a diary in which he records his thoughts and observations on the odd and funny events he witnesses. Anyone who has attended a live Sedaris event knows that his diary readings are often among the most joyful parts of the evening. But never before have they been available in print. Now, in Theft by Finding, Sedaris brings us his favorite entries. From the family home in Ralegh, North Carolina, we follow Sedaris as he sets out to make his way in the world. As an art student and then teacher in Chicago he works at a succession of very odd jobs, meeting even odder people, before moving to New York to pursue a career as a writer - where instead he very quickly lands a job in Macy's department store as an elf in Santaland... Tender, hilarious, illuminating, and endlessly captivating, Theft by Finding offers a rare look into the mind of one of our generation's greatest comic geniuses.

David Sedaris Diaries

A Visual Compendium

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Author: David Sedaris,Jeffrey Jenkins

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 0316431702

Category: Art

Page: 256

View: 8924

A remarkable illustrated volume of artwork and images selected from the diaries David Sedaris has been creating for four decades In this richly illustrated book, readers will for the first time experience the diaries David Sedaris has kept for nearly 40 years in the elaborate, three-dimensional, collaged style of the originals. A celebration of the unexpected in the everyday, the beautiful and the grotesque, this visual compendium offers unique insight into the author's view of the world and stands as a striking and collectible volume in itself. Compiled and edited by Sedaris's longtime friend Jeffrey Jenkins, and including interactive components, postcards, and never-before-seen photos and artwork, this is a necessary addition to any Sedaris collection, and will enthrall the author's fans for many years to come.

Naked

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Author: David Sedaris

Publisher: Back Bay Books

ISBN: 9780316073622

Category: Humor

Page: 304

View: 9101

In Naked, David Sedaris's message alternately rendered in Fakespeare, Italian, Spanish, and pidgin Greek is the same: pay attention to me. Whether he's taking to the road with a thieving quadriplegic, sorting out the fancy from the extra-fancy in a bleak fruit-packing factory, or celebrating Christmas in the company of a recently paroled prostitute, this collection of memoirs creates a wickedly incisive portrait of an all-too-familiar world. It takes Sedaris from his humiliating bout with obsessive behavior in A Plague of Tics to the title story, where he is finally forced to face his naked self in the mirrored sunglasses of a lunatic. At this soulful and moving moment, he picks potato chip crumbs from his pubic hair and wonders what it all means. This remarkable journey into his own life follows a path of self-effacement and a lifelong search for identity, leaving him both under suspicion and overdressed.

When You Are Engulfed in Flames

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Author: David Sedaris

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 0316032514

Category: Humor

Page: 300

View: 5724

"David Sedaris's ability to transform the mortification of everyday life into wildly entertaining art," (The Christian Science Monitor) is elevated to wilder and more entertaining heights than ever in this remarkable new book. Trying to make coffee when the water is shut off, David considers using the water in a vase of flowers and his chain of associations takes him from the French countryside to a hilariously uncomfortable memory of buying drugs in a mobile home in rural North Carolina. In essay after essay, Sedaris proceeds from bizarre conundrums of daily life-having a lozenge fall from your mouth into the lap of a fellow passenger on a plane or armoring the windows with LP covers to protect the house from neurotic songbirds-to the most deeply resonant human truths. Culminating in a brilliant account of his venture to Tokyo in order to quit smoking, David Sedaris's sixth essay collection is a new masterpiece of comic writing from "a writer worth treasuring" (Seattle Times). Praise for When You Are Engulfed in Flames: "Older, wiser, smarter and meaner, Sedaris...defies the odds once again by delivering an intelligent take on the banalities of an absurd life." --Kirkus Reviews This latest collection proves that not only does Sedaris still have it, but he's also getting better....Sedaris's best stuff will still--after all this time--move, surprise, and entertain." --Booklist Table of Contents: It's Catching Keeping Up The Understudy This Old House Buddy, Can You Spare a Tie? Road Trips What I Learned That's Amore The Monster Mash In the Waiting Room Solutions to Saturday's Puzzle Adult Figures Charging Toward a Concrete Toadstool Memento Mori All the Beauty You Will Ever Need Town and Country Aerial The Man in the Hut Of Mice and Men April in Paris Crybaby Old Faithful The Smoking Section

Holidays on Ice

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Author: David Sedaris

Publisher: Little, Brown

ISBN: 9780316073639

Category: Humor

Page: 128

View: 7879

David Sedaris's beloved holiday collection is new again with six more pieces, including a never before published story. Along with such favorites as the diaries of a Macy's elf and the annals of two very competitive families, are Sedaris's tales of tardy trick-or-treaters ("Us and Them"); the difficulties of explaining the Easter Bunny to the French ("Jesus Shaves"); what to do when you've been locked out in a snowstorm ("Let It Snow"); the puzzling Christmas traditions of other nations ("Six to Eight Black Men"); what Halloween at the medical examiner's looks like ("The Monster Mash"); and a barnyard secret Santa scheme gone awry ("Cow and Turkey"). No matter what your favorite holiday, you won't want to miss celebrating it with the author who has been called "one of the funniest writers alive" (Economist).

Barrel Fever

Stories and Essays

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Author: David Sedaris

Publisher: Little, Brown

ISBN: 9780316031653

Category: Humor

Page: 208

View: 6376

In David Sedaris' world, no one is safe and no cow is sacred. A manic cross between Mark Leyner, Fran Lebowitz, and the National Enquirer, Sedaris' collection of essays is a rollicking tour through the national Zeitgeist: a do-it-yourself suburban dad saves money by performing home surgery; a man who is loved too much flees the heavyweight champion of the world; a teenage suicide tries to incite a lynch mob at her funeral; a bitter Santa abuses the elves. David Sedaris made his debut on NPR's Morning Edition with "SantaLand Diaries", recounting his strange-but-true experiences as an elf at Macy's, and soon became one of the show's most popular commentators. With a perfect eye and a voice infused with as much empathy as wit, Sedaris writes stories and essays that target the soulful ridiculousness of our behavior. Barrel Fever is like a blind date with modern life, and anything can happen.

Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules

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Author: David Sedaris

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1847375901

Category: Fiction

Page: 256

View: 1615

'When apple-picking season ended, I got a Job in a packing plant and gravitated towards short stories, which I could read during my break and reflect upon for the remainder of my shift. A good one would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit . . . Once, before leaving on vacation, I copied an entire page from an Alice Munro story and left it in my typewriter, hoping a burglar might come upon it and mistake her words for my own. That an intruder would spend his valuable time reading, that he might be impressed by the description of a crooked face, was something I did not question, as I believed, and still do, that stories can save you'.

Calypso

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Author: David Sedaris

Publisher: Little, Brown

ISBN: 0316392359

Category: Humor

Page: 272

View: 7640

David Sedaris returns with his most deeply personal and darkly hilarious book. If you've ever laughed your way through David Sedaris's cheerfully misanthropic stories, you might think you know what you're getting with Calypso. You'd be wrong. When he buys a beach house on the Carolina coast, Sedaris envisions long, relaxing vacations spent playing board games and lounging in the sun with those he loves most. And life at the Sea Section, as he names the vacation home, is exactly as idyllic as he imagined, except for one tiny, vexing realization: it's impossible to take a vacation from yourself. With Calypso, Sedaris sets his formidable powers of observation toward middle age and mortality. Make no mistake: these stories are very, very funny--it's a book that can make you laugh 'til you snort, the way only family can. Sedaris's powers of observation have never been sharper, and his ability to shock readers into laughter unparalleled. But much of the comedy here is born out of that vertiginous moment when your own body betrays you and you realize that the story of your life is made up of more past than future. This is beach reading for people who detest beaches, required reading for those who loathe small talk and love a good tumor joke. Calypso is simultaneously Sedaris's darkest and warmest book yet--and it just might be his very best.

Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk

A Modest Bestiary

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Author: David Sedaris

Publisher: Little, Brown

ISBN: 9780316131278

Category: Humor

Page: 176

View: 5669

Featuring David Sedaris's unique blend of hilarity and heart, this new collection of keen-eyed animal-themed tales is an utter delight. Though the characters may not be human, the situations in these stories bear an uncanny resemblance to the insanity of everyday life. In "The Toad, the Turtle, and the Duck," three strangers commiserate about animal bureaucracy while waiting in a complaint line. In "Hello Kitty," a cynical feline struggles to sit through his prison-mandated AA meetings. In "The Squirrel and the Chipmunk," a pair of star-crossed lovers is separated by prejudiced family members. With original illustrations by Ian Falconer, author of the bestselling Olivia series of children's books, these stories are David Sedaris at his most observant, poignant, and surprising.

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

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Author: David Sedaris

Publisher: Back Bay Books

ISBN: 9780316010795

Category: Humor

Page: 272

View: 6450

David Sedaris plays in the snow with his sisters. He goes on vacation with his family. He gets a job selling drinks. He attends his brother's wedding. He mops his sister's floor. He gives directions to a lost traveler. He eats a hamburger. He has his blood sugar tested. It all sounds so normal, doesn't it? In his newest collection of essays, David Sedaris lifts the corner of ordinary life, revealing the absurdity teeming below its surface. His world is alive with obscure desires and hidden motives -- a world where forgiveness is automatic and an argument can be the highest form of love. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim is another unforgettable collection from one of the wittiest and most original writers at work today.

Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls

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Author: David Sedaris

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 0748123059

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 288

View: 1532

A guy walks into a bar . . . From here the story could take many turns. A guy walks into a bar and meets the love of his life. A guy walks into a bar and finds no one else is there. When this guy is David Sedaris, the possibilities are endless. In Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls, Sedaris delights with twists of humour and intelligence, remembering his father's dinnertime attire (shirtsleeves and underpants) his first colonoscopy (remarkably pleasant) and the time he considered buying the skeleton of a murdered pygmy. By turns hilarious and moving, David Sedaris masterfully looks at life's absurdities as he takes us on adventures that are not to be forgotten.

Why Cats Paint

A Theory of Feline Aesthetics

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Author: Burton Silver,Heather Busch

Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.

ISBN: 9781580087933

Category: Pets

Page: 144

View: 1088

In 1994, WHY CATS PAINT took the art world and animal world by storm with its unprecedented photographic record of cat creativity. Those seminal books in feline aesthetics are now offered in new pocket-size editions filled with the best from each volume, making purrfect gifts for cat lovers and art lovers alike.Reviews"great for stocking stuffers."-Cleveland Plain Dealer

The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer

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Author: Jennifer Lynch

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1451664788

Category: Fiction

Page: 192

View: 5959

Laura Palmer was introduced to television audiences in the opening scenes of "Twin Peaks"--as a beautiful dead girl, wrapped in plastic. Now available in print for the first time in many years (and in e-book for the very first time!), THE SECRET DIARY OF LAURA PALMER chronicles Laura's life from age 12 to her death at 17, and is filled with secrets, character references, and even clues to the identity of her eventual killer. Fans of the show will love seeing their favorite characters again, and Laura's diary makes compelling reading as she turns from a naive freshman having her first kiss to a "bad girl" experimenting with drugs, sex and the occult. "As seen by" Jennifer Lynch, creator David Lynch's daughter, THE SECRET DIARY OF LAURA PALMER is authentic, creepy, and a perfect book for anyone who loves supernatural suspense.

The Cancer Journals

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Author: Audre Lorde

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: N.A

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 99

View: 2990

Grief, terror, courage, the passion for survival and far more than survival, are here in the personal and political searchings of a great poet. Lorde is the Amazon warrior who knows how to tell the tale of battle: what happened, and why, what are the weapons, and who are the comrades she found. More than this, her book offers women a new and deeply feminist challenge.-- Adrienne Rich"--Publisher.

Live at Carnegie Hall

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Author: David Sedaris

Publisher: Little, Brown Young Readers

ISBN: 9781405500128

Category: Wit and humor

Page: 72

View: 1206

No one renders the pathos, chaos and impossible variety of daily encounters like David Sedaris. On every subject, he is bruisingly painful and tenderly affectionate. Recorded live on October 22, 2002, LIVE AT CARNEGIE HALL features excerpts from his forthcoming collection of essays, DRESS YOUR FAMILY IN CORDUROY AND DENIM. Includes: Thanks Repeat After Me Why Them? Who's the Chef? Buddy Can You Spare a Tie? LessonThree: The Feminine Mistake Lesson Four: With a Pal Like This, You Don't Need An Enemy Six to Eight Black Men

Bare-Faced Messiah

The True Story of L. Ron Hubbard

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Author: Russell Miller

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9781909269361

Category:

Page: 396

View: 8191

Bare-Faced Messiah tells the extraordinary story of L. Ron Hubbard, a penniless science-fi ction writer who founded the Church of Scientology, became a millionaire prophet and convinced his adoring followers that he alone could save the world. According to his 'official' biography, Hubbard was an explorer, engineer, scientist, war hero and philosopher. But in the words of a Californian judge, he was schizophrenic, paranoid and a pathological liar. What is not in dispute is that Hubbard was one of the most bizarre characters of the twentieth century. Bare-Faced Messiah exposes the myths surrounding the fascinating and mysterious founder of the Church of Scientology - a man of hypnotic charm and limitless imagination - and provides the defi nitive account of how the notorious organisation was created.

Santaland Diaries

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Author: David Sedaris

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 0748123075

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 160

View: 9169

Santaland Diaries collects six of David Sedaris's most profound Christmas stories into one slender volume perfect for use as a last-minute coaster or ice-scraper. This drinking man's companion can be enjoyed by the warmth of a raging fire, the glow of a brilliantly decorated tree, or even in the back seat of a police car. It should be read with your eyes, felt with your heart, and heard only when spoken to. It should, in short, behave much like a book. And oh, what a book it is!

Homeroom Diaries

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Author: James Patterson,Lisa Papademetriou

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 0316207632

Category: Young Adult Fiction

Page: 272

View: 8407

In James Patterson's first highly illustrated "diary fiction" story for teens, the mega-bestselling author's most endearing and original teen heroine ever proves that everyone can use a helping hand once in a while. Margaret "Cuckoo" Clarke recently had a brief stay in a mental institution following an emotional breakdown, but she's turning over a new leaf with her "Operation Happiness". She's determined to beat down the bad vibes of the Haters, the Terror Teachers, and all of the trials and tribulations of high school by writing and drawing in her diary. And when life gets really tough, she works through her own moments of uncertainty through imaginary conversations with her favorite literary characters. Cuckoo's also got a nearly impossible mission: she, along with her misfit band of self-deprecating friends (who call themselves "the Freakshow") decide to bridge the gap between warring cliques and "bring the Nations together". Not everyone is so willing to join hands and get along, but Cuckoo never stops smiling... until one of her closest friends, pushed to desperation by a Hater prank, decides that enough is enough.

The Book of Liz

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Author: Amy Sedaris,David Sedaris

Publisher: Dramatists Play Service Inc

ISBN: 9780822218272

Category: Drama

Page: 50

View: 1125

THE STORY: Sister Elizabeth Donderstock is Squeamish, has been her whole life. She makes cheese balls (traditional and smoky) that sustain the existence of her entire religious community, Clusterhaven. However, she feels unappreciated among her Squ

Five-Minute Peppa Stories (Peppa Pig)

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Author: N.A

Publisher: Peppa Pig

ISBN: 9781338058048

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 192

View: 7904

'This book is based on the TV series Peppa Pig. Peppa Pig is created by Neville Astley and Mark Baker."