James Acaster's Classic Scrapes - The Hilarious Sunday Times Bestseller

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: James Acaster

Publisher: Headline

ISBN: 1472247205

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 288

View: 9593

**THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER** 'I don't think I've ever read a book that has made me cry with laughter as much as this one. It was very difficult reading it in public as I looked like a madman' - Richard Herring 'James Acaster has a brilliant comic mind, crackling with energy every bit as much as his corduroy slacks' - Milton Jones James Acaster has been nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award five times and has appeared on prime-time TV shows like MOCK THE WEEK, LIVE AT THE APOLLO and RUSSELL HOWARD'S STAND UP CENTRAL. But behind the fame and critical acclaim is a man perpetually getting into trouble. Whether it's disappointing a skydiving instructor mid-flight, hiding from thugs in a bush wearing a bright red dress, or annoying the Kettering Board Games club, a didgeridoo-playing conspiracy theorist and some bemused Christians, James is always finding new ways to embarrass himself. Appearing on Josh Widdicombe's radio show to recount these stories, the feature was christened 'James Acaster's classic scrapes'. Here, in his first book, James recounts these tales (including never-before-heard stories) along with self-penned drawings, in all their glorious stupidity.

James Acaster's Classic Scrapes - The Hilarious Sunday Times Bestseller

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: James Acaster

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1472247205

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 288

View: 7352

**THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER** 'I don't think I've ever read a book that has made me cry with laughter as much as this one. It was very difficult reading it in public as I looked like a madman' - Richard Herring 'James Acaster has a brilliant comic mind, crackling with energy every bit as much as his corduroy slacks' - Milton Jones James Acaster has been nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award five times and has appeared on prime-time TV shows like MOCK THE WEEK, LIVE AT THE APOLLO and RUSSELL HOWARD'S STAND UP CENTRAL. But behind the fame and critical acclaim is a man perpetually getting into trouble. Whether it's disappointing a skydiving instructor mid-flight, hiding from thugs in a bush wearing a bright red dress, or annoying the Kettering Board Games club, a didgeridoo-playing conspiracy theorist and some bemused Christians, James is always finding new ways to embarrass himself. Appearing on Josh Widdicombe's radio show to recount these stories, the feature was christened 'James Acaster's classic scrapes'. Here, in his first book, James recounts these tales (including never-before-heard stories) along with self-penned drawings, in all their glorious stupidity.

Parsnips, Buttered

How to win at modern life, one email at a time

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Joe Lycett

Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton

ISBN: 147364044X

Category: Humor

Page: 304

View: 2395

**THE BRILLIANT & IRREVERENT DEBUT FROM AWARD-WINNING COMEDIAN JOE LYCETT (8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, Taskmaster), NOW IN PAPERBACK** 'Joe is nothing short of hilarious' SARAH MILLICAN 'I Lycett, I Lycett a lot' HARRY HILL 'We were snorting with laughter like a happy pig throughout. Lots more of the same please Joe! 5*s' HEAT MAGAZINE * * * * * * Dear Reader, Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed. While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate Tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again. I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Reader. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners , jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished reading this book you will have learnt how to: - Reverse a parking fine - Manipulate the tabloid press - Navigate social media - Respond to hate mail - Out-weird internet trolls - Contest a so-called ripe avocado - Send the perfect Christmas newsletter - Defeat ISIS - Take down multi-national companies AND MUCH, MUCH MORE! Joe Lycett x * If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, healthcare or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.

Animal

The Autobiography of a Female Body

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Sara Pascoe

Publisher: Faber & Faber

ISBN: 0571325238

Category: Social Science

Page: 304

View: 1154

Sara is a comedian who has talked and joked about female sexuality, psychology and the media's portrayal of women on stage and screen. While researching her most recent live show, Sara realised that she had a lot more to say. In her first book Sara combines autobiography and evolutionary history to entertain and inform about the female body. Why we have boobs and how they have become so fetishised. How the kidnap of a 13-year old-chimney sweep's daughter created our present age of consent. The discovery and subsequent forgetting of the clitoris, the many eras of misunderstanding the female orgasm. Did you know that clitorectomys were once performed on British and American women to cure masturbation and hysteria? And that we learned so much about female sexuality from the behaviour of sperm? ANIMAL: HOW A WOMAN IS MADE aims to be entertaining and informative and personal and universal and silly about lots of things and serious about some.

That’s Your Lot

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Limmy

Publisher: HarperCollins

ISBN: 0008172625

Category: Humor

Page: 320

View: 983

This is Limmy’s second book. It’s a whole load of new, odd, and hilariously grim short stories.

How to be Champion

The No.1 Sunday Times Bestselling Autobiography

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Sarah Millican

Publisher: Trapeze

ISBN: 1409174336

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 304

View: 1557

Hilarious, heartwarming and inspirational, this is the number 1 Sunday Times bestselling autobiography by comedian Sarah Millican. The funniest book of the year! ***** 'The naughtiest, helpiest, laughieoutloudiest and goodest book I've ever done reading on. Give that girl a banana!' DAWN FRENCH SARAH MILLICAN'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH, FEEL NORMAL AND PROBABLY SNIFF YOUR LEGGINGS. Part autobiography, part self help, part confession, part celebration of being a common-or-garden woman, part collection of synonyms for nunny, Sarah Millican's debut book delves into her super normal life with daft stories, funny tales and proper advice on how to get past life's blips - like being good at school but not good at friends, the excitement of IBS and how to blossom post divorce. If you've ever worn glasses at the age of six, worn an off-the-shoulder gown with no confidence, been contacted by an old school bully, lived in your childhood bedroom in your thirties, been gloriously dumped in a Frankie and Benny's, cried so much you felt great, been for a romantic walk with a dog, worn leggings two days in a row even though they smelt of wee from a distance, then this is YOUR BOOK. If you haven't done those things but wish you had, THIS IS YOUR BOOK. If you just want to laugh on a train/sofa/toilet or under your desk at work, THIS IS YOUR BOOK. 'Of course Sarah Millican's book will make you laugh out loud, but there are moments where she will touch you deeply. The dirty bitch.' KATHY BURKE

It's Not Me, It's Them

Confessions of a hopeless modern romantic - THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Joel Dommett

Publisher: Headline

ISBN: 1472251288

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 288

View: 636

'Effortless humour and bucketloads of charm. It's impossible not to be bowled over by the ending. Most definitely my favourite celebrity memoir in a long time. Brilliant.' - THE SUN **The hilarious debut from I'm A Celeb star Joel Dommett (Live at the Apollo, 8 Out of 10 Cats, Impractical Jokers), for fans of Joe Lycett, James Acaster and Sarah Millican** As a 17-year-old virgin working . . . for Virgin, Joel Dommett has grand ambitions. Firstly, he is going to swap suburbia for the bright lights of Showbiz. Secondly, he is going to find 'the one' in the first forty people he's going to sleep with. What follows is a series of disastrous romantic encounters, including carpets mistaken for toilets, futile grand gestures and the catfishing to end all catfishing. Featuring genuine teenage diary entries and told in Joel's trademark self-deprecating style, this is the brilliant first book from the UK's most exciting comedian.

Ayoade on Ayoade

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Richard Ayoade

Publisher: Faber & Faber

ISBN: 0571316549

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 252

View: 9290

In this book Richard Ayoade - actor, writer, director, and amateur dentist - reflects on his cinematic legacy as only he can: in conversation with himself. Over ten brilliantly insightful and often erotic interviews, Ayoade examines himself fully and without mercy, leading a breathless investigation into this once-in-a-generation visionary. Only Ayoade can appreciate Ayoade's unique methodology. Only Ayoade can recognise Ayoade's talent. Only Ayoade can withstand Ayoade's peculiar scent. Only Ayoade can truly get inside Ayoade. They have called their book Ayoade on Ayoade: A Cinematic Odyssey. Take the journey, and your life will never be the same again. Ayoade on Ayoade captures the director in his own words: pompous, vain, angry and very, very funny.

Texts from Dog

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: October Jones

Publisher: HMH

ISBN: 0544080068

Category: Humor

Page: 112

View: 5338

He’s a dog with a phone . . . My dog sends me texts. Yeah. It’s weird. When October Jones figured out he could send text messages to himself on his mobile phone, he naturally decided that the best use of this discovery was to send passive-aggressive messages to himself under the guise of his bulldog. And so the exasperating, slightly delusional, and utterly endearing Dog and his alter-ego, BatDog, were born. Texts from Dog features Dog’s attempts to keep the neighborhood safe from the likes of Mr. Postman and his arch-nemesis Cat-Cat—he has managed to only smash three TVs and a patio door in the process. And in between crime fighting sprees and run-ins with the squirrel mafia, there are romantic interludes with pillows, fetch sessions gone terribly awry, and the abusive banter only a bromance between man and his text-savvy dog can spawn. For those of us who have ever had a conversation with a pet in our heads, Texts from Dog will make you laugh out loud and perhaps even make you think twice about leaving your pet home alone for the day.

Dead Funny: Encore

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Robin Ince,Johnny Mains

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9781784630393

Category:

Page: 224

View: 9338

Award winners Robin Ince and Johnny Mains team up for this second exploration of the relationship between comedy and horror...

Nerd Do Well

A Small Boy's Journey to Becoming a Big Kid

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Simon Pegg

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 1101529083

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 368

View: 6974

The unique life story of one of the most talented and inventive comedians, star of Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Paul, Spaced, and Star Trek. Zombies in North London, death cults in the West Country, the engineering deck of the Enterprise -- actor, comedian, writer, and supergeek Simon Pegg has been ploughing some bizarre furrows. Having landed on the U.S. movie scene in the surprise cult hit Shaun of the Dead, his enduring appeal and rise to movie stardom has been mercurial, meteoric, megatronic, but mostly just plain great. From his childhood (and subsequently adult) obsession with science fiction, his enduring friendship with Nick Frost, and his forays into stand-up comedy, which began with his regular Monday-morning slot in front of his twelve-year-old classmates, Simon has always had a severe and dangerous case of the funnies. Whether recounting his experience working as a lifeguard at the city pool, going to Comic-Con for the first time and confessing to Carrie Fisher that he used to kiss her picture every night before he went to sleep, or meeting and working with heroes that include Peter Jackson, Kevin Smith, and Quentin Tarantino, Pegg offers a hilarious look at the journey to becoming an international superstar.

Daft Wee Stories

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Limmy

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1473517893

Category: Fiction

Page: 368

View: 917

DAFT WEE STORIES is Limmy’s first book. It is a collection of stories. There are short stories. There are longer stories. There are stupid stories. There are thoughtful stories. There are upside-down stories. There are normal-way-up stories. There are weird stories. There are less weird stories. There are really weird stories. There is nothing else like it. Have a read.

Britty Britty Bang Bang: One Man's Attempt to Understand His Country

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Hugh Dennis

Publisher: Headline

ISBN: 0755364309

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 215

View: 8885

Hugh Dennis has secretly been worrying about what being "British" meant for nearly a decade, ever since his friend Ardal O'Hanlon had told him in passing that he was the most British person he had ever met. Hugh was unclear whether he was being praised, teased, vaguely insulted or possibly all three - because it has always been very difficult to know how to feel about being British. And then the London Olympics came along. We gave the world a gleaming new vision of Britain; a smiling Britain of achievement, a Britain responsible for leading the world into the modern era through the Agrarian and Industrial revolutions, a nation proud to embrace multi-culturalism, individuality, and eccentricity. A country where a major politician can dangle helplessly from a zip wire like a discarded straw dolly and gain in popularity, and whose Queen can send herself up and then descend by parachute. The unexpected legacy of the Games has been a Britain with a new found self-confidence in which we all know how to be British. A Britain which should be embarrassed by nothing and proud of everything, from sheep to chimneys to the Spice Girls to industrial action and what had always previously been described as our "ailing transport network". A Britain which having been pinned firmly in its own half, has dribbled the length of the field, nutmegged the defenders, unleashed a curling dipping shot into the top right hand corner, scored a wonder goal and is now kissing the badge. This is Hugh Dennis' exploration of the changing image of Britain and Britishness.

The Grip of Film

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Richard Ayoade

Publisher: Faber & Faber

ISBN: 0571316573

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 256

View: 608

Gordy LaSure's passionate about film. He eats film, he drinks film, and sometimes he'll even watch a film. But most of all he loves talking to people about film: whether a comely student with low confidence and a father complex, a Studio 'development' exec who doesn't trust his own judgement, or the countless people Gordy LaSure's encountered in his capacity as the web moderator on an Excessive Sweating Discussion Forum. Gordy LaSure's alwaystalking about films and how they'd be a shit ton better if only people would pull their asses out of their ears and listen to Gordy LaSure. The voyage of this book can be categorised as an attempt to understand How In Hell Film Works. Why are some films bad, and some films terrible?How come just a handful of films (Titanic, Porky's, Dirty Harry) areany good at all? Gordy'll tell you How and Why, and he'll give you a slug of Wherefore on the side. And he doesn't shoot from the hip; he shoots from the gut.

Size Matters Not

The Extraordinary Life & Career of Warwick Davis

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Warwick Davis

Publisher: Aurum Press Limited

ISBN: 1845138147

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 384

View: 9664

DIV Published to coincide with his highly anticipated new sitcom – a mockumentary follow-up to Extras from the pens of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant – Size Matters Not is the surprising and hilarious story of the world’s biggest little actor. When Nana Davis heard an advert on the radio seeking small people for the third Star Wars movie little did she know it was a moment that would transform her tiny grandson’s life. Aged only eleven and just two-feet-eleven inches in height, Warwick went on to make his screen debut as Wicket the Ewok in 1983’s box-office smash Return of the Jedi. It was the beginning of a career that would see him star in some of the biggest films of the last thirty years. Still just three-foot-six, Warwick owes his success to a boundless optimism. His one-in-a-million genetic condition may have opened doors through which other actors couldn’t fit, but it has also led to trials and tragedy – from the seemingly mundane challenge of supermarket shopping, to the sometimes heartbreaking story of his struggle to start a family. By turns funny and moving, Size Matters Not is a big story from a big man, who just happens to be very, very short. /div

The Incomplete Tim Key

About 300 of his poetical gems and what-nots

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Tim Key

Publisher: Canongate Books

ISBN: 0857861204

Category: Humor

Page: 256

View: 1516

This is an updated version of the ebook. And it is ram-jammed full of poems by KEY. Within its pages you will find the vast majority of the same poems as you'll find in its predecessor. Poems skewering such thorny issues as sex, pancakes, footy and vodka. But, in order to drum up renewed interest, KEY has also added a new poem. And there are also seven new introductions. And KEY has also been allowed to waddle round the text with his Lamy fountain pen, altering and updating. Improving. Making everything just so.

Emergency Questions

1001 conversation-savers for any situation

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Richard Herring

Publisher: Sphere

ISBN: 0751574376

Category: Humor

Page: 288

View: 2015

THE FUNNIEST BOOK OF THE YEAR. GUARANTEED TO TURN AN AWKWARD SILENCE INTO AN AWKWARD CONVERSATION. 'Ridiculously funny and (unexpectedly) genuinely useful' ADAM KAY 'A perfect way to pretend you're interested in people you're not that interested in' KATHY BURKE 'Most of this book is pointless filth, all of it is hilarious, and my answer to question 715(a) is "Yes thank you and it was very tasty"' DAWN FRENCH If you had to wear somebody's guts for garters - if you had to - who would you disembowel in order to facilitate your socks staying up? What do you consider your median achievement? Would you rather have pubic hair made of unremovable barbed wire or to be attacked by a rabid badger in your sleep once a week? We've all been there. Stuck at a boring family party, on an awkward date, in a below-par job interview, or any number of other situations in which conversation has become more of a trickle than a flow. Well, fear the excruciation no more, as Richard Herring's EMERGENCY QUESTIONS is about to change your life. Containing 1,001 conversation starters from one of our most cherished comedians, along with plenty of answers from the many household names who've appeared on his podcast, this book is virtually guaranteed to remove any social anxiety from your life, and will raise your repartee-game to new heights. 'Of all the clever people I know, Richard is the stupidest. And of all the stupid people I know, Richard is the cleverest. That's why this is such a brilliant book for everyone' RICHARD OSMAN 'Perhaps if Michael Parkinson had asked Mohammad Ali if he'd ever seen a Bigfoot he might be remembered as a great interviewer. Instead it is Richard Herring who has perfected the art of creating funny, interesting and offensive questions that will supercharge even the dullest encounter' ADAM BUXTON 'Richard Herring bullied me into claiming this book, which I haven't yet read, is brilliant' CHARLIE BROOKER

Thinking About It Only Makes It Worse

And Other Lessons from Modern Life

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: David Mitchell

Publisher: Guardian Faber Publishing

ISBN: 178335058X

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 304

View: 4813

What's wrong with calling a burglar brave? Why are people so f***ing hung up about swearing? Why do the asterisks in that sentence make it okay? Why do so many people want to stop other people doing things, and how can they be stopped from stopping them? Why is every film and TV programme a sequel or a remake? Why are we so reliant on perpetual diversion that someone has created chocolate toothpaste? Is there anything to be done about the Internet? These and many other questions trouble David Mitchell as he delights us with a tour of the absurdities of modern life - from Ryanair to Downton Abbey, sports day to smoking, nuclear weapons to phone etiquette, UKIP to hotdogs made of cats. Funny, provocative and shot through with refreshing amounts of common sense,Thinking About It Only Makes It Worse celebrates and commiserates on the state of things in our not entirely glorious nation.

When One Door Closes

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Peter Sissons

Publisher: Biteback Publishing

ISBN: 1849541116

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 352

View: 5594

A Liverpool boy from the same cohort as John Lennon, Paul McCartney and George Harrison, Peter Sissons was destined for great things. Then he was caught on the wrong side of rebel lines during the Nigerian Civil War and shot through both legs his blossoming career as a war reporter came abruptly to an end. But another door was about to open, and Sissons went on to guide a generation through every momentous event of the last forty-five years. Surprisingly funny, dramatic and often poignant, When One Door Closes is the bestselling story of Britain's most distinguished newsreader and reveals what he really thinks about the state of the British media, global affairs, Climategate and the workings of the BBC.

It's Not Me, It's You!

DOWNLOAD NOW »

Author: Jon Richardson

Publisher: HarperCollins

ISBN: 9780007460908

Category: Mate selection

Page: 304

View: 8951

'I haven't woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it's one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for.' Jon Richardson Is your filing faultless? Your CDs, apostrophes, cutlery all in the right places? Can you eat a biscuit in the correct way? Then Jon Richardson (single for seven years and counting) could be your ideal man... Living alone in a one bedroom flat in Swindon, 27 year old Jon has had far too much time on his hands to think. In fact to obsess. About almost everything. Jon's obssessive compulsive personality disorder has seen him arrange the coins in his pockets in ascending size and colour code his bookshelves. It takes him less than 90 seconds to locate a receipt for a pair of shoes he bought in 1997. Over to the filing cabinet and R for receipts, S for shoes. But Jon doesn't want to be like this, in fact he would quite like to share his life with someone. But who could that someone be? Someone like himself, a quarrelsome perfectionist only with breasts and less body hair? Absolutely not. But who exactly is Jon looking for and where will he find her? Faced with a loveless future filled with his own peculiar quirks and perfectionism, Jon sets about his search for The One. The question is, will he mind her keeping the knives to the left of the forks in the cutlery drawer or organising the CDs by genre and not alphabetically?